Mark is a Computer Science, Discrete Mathematics and Logic major on a scholarship from A*STAR (for the non-Singaporean reader, A*STAR is a governmental institute that focuses on science, technology and research). Mark also has a reputation for being not quite normal. Feeling hungry prior to his midterm, Mark saved his meal block and ate the cover page of his test-paper. He calls himself a laptop and keeps a tree branch next to his bed for protection. During international freshmen’s orientation, Mark and I were in a conversation about Singlish and our national service experience with two friends we had just made; and then, he started giving a lecture on the lexicon and syntax of Singlish. I later apologized on behalf of my fellow countryman. Therefore, it was with great astonishment and more than a rude shock that the Facebook world came to learn that his status had been changed to: In a Relationship with Allyson Zhang.

In light of what happened at Virginia Tech, we should take every care to be more understanding and sensitive to those among us who are strange in certain ways. But beyond that, I have a genuine admiration for Mark committing to a relationship and for finding someone so suitable for him, just as overly geeky and just as weird. They are the perfect match, the Θ that gives his cosine value, the two curves of a hyperbola, the two bars of an equal sign. Maybe, Mark really had it all figured out. After all, John Nash did say “It’s only in the mysterious equations of love that any logical reason can be found”.

So, in many ways, Mark has my newfound respect. While he can inspire commitment, all I have done was to arouse insecurities in that particular her. I should have been more self-conscious and more sensitive. Pace the way things were going to give her more time, earn her confidence, be more humble and more down-to-earth. Frankly, and pathetically, I don’t have a good idea how it all came apart. But the pain of rejection made me so certain that she had been so special and that I really like her even though she deserves better.

I have always found it disconcerting how people can whine about breakups on their blogs or write for their cyber audience existentialist entries about their relationship woes. I follow these blogs with sadistic voyeurism and find humor in their melodrama. As far as possible, I try not to keep this blog too personal. Therefore, so that this entry will not be thought of as about me mopping over my rejection (this really isn’t), let this instead be a random post about that mysterious equation as well as a request for prayers that God will grant opportunities to convict our hearts.